I'm not sure if I'm brave or crazy. It's a fine line I often find myself on. But nevertheless I decided I was going to take my two kids to the grocery store alone. Since my daughter was born I've always had my husband go with me to do major shopping. I can handle a quick run thru for a few things with the two of them. But I have never shopped like this without my husband. The cabinets were bare and I really couldn't wait until 7 o'clock tonight.
I loaded the kiddos up at 8:30am and headed first for an oil change. While we waited at walmart, Rowan terrorized the toy department. I'm so sorry to the walmart employees who had to clean up the mess. I tried to put things back as best I could. When the oil change was finished we went out to the car and Rowan proceeded to release himself from my grasp and run thru the parking lot. This kid has a death wish. I think I'm going to need to get a lasso. Next stop was goodwill to find Will (husband) some work boots. Which I did. And it all seemed to be going just fine, until it was time to leave. Rowan grabbed onto the buggy and had this unbelievable grip, screaming that he didn't want to go. I literally dragged him to the car. And I'm not exaggerating. The kid's feet were dragging across the pavement as I pulled him to the car. Then as if it wasn't bad enough to deal with that, my car didn't want to crank. Which the issues my car is giving me is worth a whole other post. Maybe for another time. Finally the car cranks and it's on to bi-lo.
Bi-lo, like so many other grocery stores has those wretched car attachments to the buggys. Kill me. Of course that's the one we have to use. Or my shopping experience is going to go from bad to worse. So I strap Liddy to me in her carrier and strap Rowan in the horrid car cart. Immediately he's snatching things off shelves. He smashes my bread. He busts up my chips. He smears pop tart into the buggy. He screams. He cries. He screams some more. He throws things. And while the Neverending tantrum continues I have a realization. I've become THAT MOM. The mom who has the living tornado child. The mom everyone stares at in pity as their child throws the apple at her face. The mom who looks like she has been hit by a truck, but really she just is trying to restrain herself from choking her miniature terrorist. I'm that mom. And you know all those thoughts you have about those mom's? "Why doesn't she discipline that child?" "Why does she let him act that way?" "If I had a child he wouldn't act that way because I would be this type of parent..." blah blah blah. Guess what??? I do discipline. And I do train. And I do try the best I can. And yet somedays it doesn't matter what kind of parent you are, or what kind of kid you have, somedays are just bad days. And your little angel becomes a different type of angel. Sometimes kids are just really difficult. And you can't slap the tarnation out of them in a public place. So you just grip the buggy and try to stuff their gobstoppers with something to try and shut them up until you can get out of the store.
As I'm pushing the buggy along I look up and see the free WiFi sign. It was like I could hear a chorus of angels. I ripped out my tablet and turn on Netflix. Thank you Bi-lo for making it possible to have wifi throughout the whole store and not just in the cafe area. Netflix and chill took on a whole new meaning today! Unfortunately Rowan's attention span is only good for 5 minutes. Then the tornado came back to obliterate everything in his path again. Thankfully I was hightailing it to the car by then. What a day! Oh and what did Lydia do the whole time? She slept or quietly looked around. Because God knew I HAD to have a child like her. Because having two like Rowan would surely send me into a home for the clinically insane. I love my son. I love my son so much. But my son is me. And I am a very difficult human. Always have been. I don't know how to even handle myself. So I'm really not sure how to handle my son. I just see every day that ends with everyone alive as a flaming success! However, I do think next month we will wait for daddy to be home. I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid. And to do this to myself again would just be stupid. It took me a total of 5 hours to do what I used to be able to do in an hour or less. And I still forgot the milk...
-Nina
Oh Nina! I got a child like me, too. I survived and so did she. She ius now raising two of her own, but they are already teens. 😔
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